When was the last time you set aside time simply for fun? Playfulness? Connecting? Curiousity?
Author Catherine Price defines fun as “that feeling where you lose track of time because you’re “in the zone” and not worried about how you look or how well you perform.” It’s your opportunity to let loose for a defined amount of time and be uniquely you.
Personally, I’ve always lived my life on the cautious side. As a child, my teachers would report back to my parents every year that I needed to lighten up, laugh a little, and enjoy life. The more I was cautioned against being too serious, the more serious I became.
As an adult it was easy to play right into that role. Our work–life duties demand that we tow the hard line, take care of others and get the job done. Who has time for being playful and fun? Certainly not me.
It’s not that life was all doom and gloom, but if I allowed myself to let down it came at a price. I would be having fun, but in the back of my mind I’d be stacking up the list of urgent to-dos. It’s difficult to truly relax when we don’t know how to let go and simply “be”.
It took five decades of living before the tell tale signs of stress started rearing their loud ugly heads. Autoimmune disorders, anxiety, musculoskeletal issues all caused my body to revolt in ways I could no longer ignore. All signs pointed to the playground of life and it was holding a spot open for me!
The good news is we can learn new ways. Awareness is the very first step. In late 2020 when our small business was in pandemic hyperdrive, it was clearly evident that putting our nose to the grindstone for month after relentless month was a recipe for emotional, physical and spiritual disaster. The long hours and endless hamster wheel of issues was taking its toll. I had to do something and soon!!
I ordered a huge wall sized calendar on Amazon for the fast approaching new year! I pinned it to my wall and the very first thing I did was block off one complete week at the end of each quarter as “The Thirteenth Week.” This was going to be a nonnegotiable time away from our home, our business, our normal daily grind.
I then created a budget and made hotel reservations – I paid for it. Non-negotiable, no turning back. I still didn’t know how taking this time away was going to be possible – but not taking the time was going to be lethal. I took drastic action.
I then engineered some rules for this time away. Besides turning off all the distractions, what would be our expectations for this new experience? Yes, there would be downtime to reflect, reset, renew – but what does “fun” actually look like in real life?
I came up with these three parameters for our time away, which has dramatically changed the landscape of our empty nest life:
Think recess for grown-ups! Remember how excited we were as kids to hear that recess bell ring – we were free! We ran, we chased, we laughed, we could scream out loud – as long as we didn’t hurt a fellow student all bets were off.
As adults, we abandon the playful and replace it with actions that yield specific results. Instead of running on a playground for the pure exhilaration of running, we download apps that measure running metrics and reward us for a job well done. Instead of creating something beautiful from the sand on the beach, we look up “sandcastles” on pinterest to build someone else’s version of perfection. Then we post our finished projects, hoping to gain approval in the form of likes and hearts. Playing for the sheer joy of playing is forgotten in the craving for approval and consensus.
During this thirteenth week, let playfulness have no other definition than what you give to it. Abandon yourself to a week of play for the sake of play.
When I was a young girl in the early 70’s, my mom would have the other neighborhood moms over for coffee and coffee cake on a regular basis. It was here around the kitchen table, with their steamy mugs of coffee that the moms would swap stories, advice and support one another. Deep friendships were formed while the young kids played around their ankles.
I remember hearing about Don Chadwick, a husband and insurance salesman who had an affair with his secretary. I had no idea what that meant, but I marveled at the hugs and volume of tissues that were involved. I did know that these ladies cared for and supported each other. Casseroles were made, kids were always welcomed at their homes and it made an impression on me.
A time of fun and relaxing for me, would have to involve the beauty of having conversations without a glance at the hour hand. Connection that allowed for deep friendships and the sharing of burdens. To be so taken with the conversation that the minutes would tick away without notice and the shadows would change to evening darkness with no one flipping on the light. The kind of relationship building talk that holds time loosely in her sacred hands.
The best kind of curiosity happens in the open spaces of time. It begins with the freedom to ask questions, to learn something new. I believe children have a natural curiosity simply because their young minds still hold space for fresh knowledge and new ideas.
As a fifth grade teacher, I can tell you that the most curious and by that right successful students were my “question–askers”. They asked without fear of judgment, without caring if there was a definitive answer – they asked to simply satisfy the yearning to know.
What are you curious about? What might you explore? Where could you go to take a deeper look at life?
Painting Class in Italy? A Yoga Wellness Retreat? A Welding Workshop? In this season of life how beautiful it is to be curious, to keep our minds sharp and our conversations deep. I give you permission to go try new things in the name of fun – go expand your world!
We were created to live our life in the flow of God’s goodness and grace. Instead of checking off the boxes of our never-ending to-do lists, we find fulfillment when our work, faith and life blend together seamlessly. When we give ourselves the purposeful space to dream and linger, opportunities start showing up in our lives. Instead of living under the harsh thumb of stress and fatigue, try taking the hand of fun and embrace your one exceptional life!
