I am the Queen of Ruts.
I find something I like and hunker down for the long haul. Consistency fits me like a well worn glove. It’s snug and warm, no need for replacing. There’s a caveat though. What if what I’m consistently doing day after day is no longer serving me? What if I need to freshen up a habit or replace it altogether? I have found the walls of those deeply entrenched ruts are difficult to climb.
With a desire to cross over to the more “free-spirited” side of life, I’ve been considering these past few days the possibility that being consistent doesn’t have to mean doing everything the same. What if developing new healthy routines within those habits involved variety with a touch of spice? It has sparked my interest.
Case in point: About four years ago my husband and I as new empty nesters found ourselves with evenings free. No kids to drive to practice, not even a dog to take for a walk – we were free – too free. Once we adjusted to the ensuing quiet, it was determined a new routine was needed. When the kids were home we never had a designated once a week date night, our jobs as chauffeurs to all their evening activities precluded it. Our first on-the-list empty nest habit was to establish a weekly date night. We couldn’t wait to start.
Fast forward a few years and that one consistent habit has taken root and it’s a full fledged ritual. On Friday evenings around 6, we walk from our house to Old Town Murrieta to our favorite restaurant. We usually have a glass of wine, enjoy the band, eat an excellent meal and walk home. We look forward to this all week long and rarely miss. The twist is that we go to the same restaurant and for the most part order the same thing every weekend.
It’s a beautiful habit – one that has strengthened our marriage, taught us to reflect on the past week, and spend uninterrupted time together. This consistency has reaped huge rewards, but does it need to be the same to be effective? The answer is a resounding NO!
There are six other restaurants in our little downtown to choose from, but we choose to stay in our rut. It’s comfy there. The routine we’ve created is good, but what could we be missing in the name of keeping things comfortable?
If you have habits in your life that have worked their way into “just something that we do” category and you want to freshen them up a bit, here’s my tips for launching a habit reboot.
Creating consistency in my life has been the number one factor in bringing the chaos of my world into order. It has drastically reduced my stress. I not only know what to expect but also how to prepare for the unexpected.
By building variety into my routines, I’m ensuring that all the hard work I’ve done to create them will stick for the long haul. One of the best parts of my day is my morning routine. I love waking up before the sun around 4am. I read, write, think, question all before the rest of the world has even ventured to yawn. This past year I started to mix it up to keep it rewarding. During the summer months, I sneak onto the back patio in the quiet of the predawn moments. When the sun rises I am the first to see it – or so it seems. I love adding this to my routine and it gives me something to look forward to all year. During the winter months, I sit in my favorite chair and add wood to the fire. Still the same routine, but I’m creating seasonal elements to keep it exciting.
Consistent, not the same.
I really like doing this with my lifelong habit of moving every day. The overarching routine is moving, aka working out everyday. My day is infinitely better if I have achieved this one goal. I have learned to mix it up so I don’t “fall out of love” with exercise. That looks different every single day but in a predetermined-planned sort of way. I ride my peloton, go mountain biking, take a pilates class, go for a run, climb a mountain peak – whatever time I can allot to moving that day. Some days it’s only 20 minutes, others it’s an entire day. The most important point is every day I move.
It’s tough to keep your eyes in your own lane, especially if you are starting something new. You may need ideas and so you take on someone else’s version of consistency and place it on yourself. The problem though is when we try to “wear someone else’s clothes” they never fit quite right. It feels the same with habits.
First make sure you truly have gotten down to the knitty-gritty on WHY you want to build a consistent routine or habit in this area. It should align with your life priorities and goals. Do the work on this first. The future version of who you will become when putting this into daily action will be enough to drive you forward on tough days.
If you are taking on someone else’s version of a great habit and haven’t tailored it to you – it won’t take long for you to realize the fit is uncomfortable. A great example is with a healthy lifestyle goal. This is highly personal with your own unique metrics, likes, dislikes, and visualization of success. It is not a one-size-fits all. It’s so easy to hop onto a fad diet or a challenge to lose “x” amount of weight and then realize it doesn’t really align with what we want. We quit. We feel discouraged and it takes awhile to want to try again.
Be Consistent YOUR way.
I like to encourage my coaching clients to create healthy habits in work, faith and life that are sustainable for a lifetime. That means you can take them anywhere and they grow with you. These healthy habits expand and enable you to be the best possible version of you – always!
If we are wanting to reach our ideal weight and a serious diet change is necessary, what does that look like for the long haul? What does that look like when you go out with friends? When you are traveling for business? By understanding that consistency doesn’t mean the same exact foods, but rather choices surrounding food we are able to take our new lifestyle everywhere we go. Variety will be limitless with boundaries of good choices firmly planted in our minds.
This goes with healthy financial choices, finding friends that align with our values, or allowing our faith to guide us. Life guarantees that we will be met with different circumstances and challenges every single day. If we have built in flexibility within our consistent actions, our routines will become a part of our DNA without stifling our growth.
Take the time today to consider one area in your life where you need to establish a healthier habit. Think how you can keep variety within your consistent actions, do it your way and make it sustainable for the long haul. Remember there is no need for ruts – our potential is only limited by our imagination. Don’t get bored, start to dream my friend!
