What’s my purpose now?
Have you ever felt like you’ve lost sight of who you are or what you’re meant to do? Maybe it came after a major life change, or maybe you just woke up one day and thought, “What’s my purpose now?”
I’ve been there. After 20 years as a stay-at-home mom, I re-entered the professional world and realized I didn’t know who I was anymore. Everyone told me, “You need to find your why,” but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t figure it out. Every time I thought I’d found my purpose, it felt temporary, like it wasn’t enough.
Here’s what I’ve learned: Before you can find your why, you have to start with who. Knowing who God created you to be is the foundation of everything else—your purpose, your relationships, your calling. And it was through a combination of scripture, prayer, and an incredible tool called the DISC Behavioral Assessment that I finally discovered my who.
The power of starting with who is clarity. As women in our 40s, 50s, and 60s, we carry a lot of life experiences with us. Some of those are things we’re proud of, but others are remnants of our old selves that we’d rather leave behind.
Maybe you’ve been through a divorce, a financial failure, or struggled to be the “supermom” while raising your kids and came across as unorganized or unreliable. Those past experiences can shackle us to who we were and make us afraid to move forward into the power of who God says we are today.
We hesitate to step into God’s calling because we’re worried that others still remember our past mistakes. But when we focus on who God says we are, we can let go of those shackles and move forward into the beautiful calling He has placed on our lives.
Ephesians 2:10 reminds us: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” You are God’s masterpiece, uniquely designed for a purpose. But you can’t walk in that purpose if you don’t know who He created you to be.
Once I embraced the truth that my identity wasn’t tied to roles or accomplishments, I needed a practical way to uncover how God uniquely wired me. That’s when I discovered DISC—a tool that helped me understand my natural tendencies, strengths, and areas for growth.
DISC is a behavioral assessment that breaks people into four primary personality types:
- D – Director: Driven, decisive, and results-oriented. If you’re the person others look to when something needs to get done, you likely have a lot of “D” in you.
- I – Influencer: Outgoing, people-focused, and enthusiastic. If you’re the life of the party or love bringing people together, you may be an “I.”
- S – Stabilizer: Steady, supportive, and dependable. If you’re the rock others rely on and prefer a calm, predictable environment, you might be an “S.”
- C – Calculator: Detail-oriented, analytical, and organized. If you love creating systems, solving problems, and focusing on precision, you likely have a strong “C” component.
Here’s how DISC ties back to scripture: It’s like a blueprint for how God uniquely designed each of us. Psalm 52:8 reminds us that we are like olive trees, flourishing in His house. DISC shows us how to flourish in the areas He’s gifted us by helping us recognize not only our strengths but also the areas where we can grow. When paired with scripture, DISC becomes a powerful tool for aligning our gifts and purpose with God’s plan.
I discovered I’m a mix of “D” and “I.” My strengths are in leadership and connection. I like to move fast. My husband, on the other hand, is an “S” and “C.” He’s much more detail-oriented and takes his time making decisions. Understanding our styles has helped us better navigate life together.
I want to share an example of how easy it is to lose sight of our core identity. I once attended a reunion and asked the women there, “What’s going on in your life right now?” Almost every answer revolved around their kids or husbands: “My son just graduated from college.” “My daughter got a great new job.” “We just welcomed our first grandbaby.”
When I gently pressed further and asked, “But what about you?” the room got quiet. Many of them didn’t have an answer. That’s the danger of tying our identity to roles or the accomplishments of others. When those roles change or disappear, we’re left wondering, “Who am I?”
Psalm 52:8 became my anchor: “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God.” The word flourishing leapt off the page and struck me right in the heart. It reminded me that I am deeply rooted in God’s strength, created to bloom where He has planted me. My core identity wasn’t tied to a role or a title; it was about the qualities God wove into my being—integrity, resilience, and a love for connecting with others.
Fast forward to 2023. I was finally stepping into my empty nest season with confidence. I felt alive and ready to embrace the next chapter. But then, life threw me a curveball. Our family went through several back-to-back traumatic events, and my autoimmune disorders flared up. I ended up losing all my hair.
Sometimes, it’s not a role or a title we lose—it’s our appearance. I remember looking in the mirror and feeling the weight of it. But this time, something was different.
I went wig shopping with my daughter, and instead of feeling defeated, I embraced this new season. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see a woman with no hair. I saw a beautiful woman who was deeply loved by God, who had a purpose and a calling on her life. And in that moment, I knew exactly who I was: I was a leader, a connector, and a woman on a mission.
This new acceptance of my identity in Christ gave me unshakable confidence because it was rooted in something that does not change and can never be taken from me. This self-awareness is the foundation of authentic relationships. When I paired this with my DISC style, I not only learned about myself but also gained a deeper understanding of how I interact with those around me.
Our marriage relationship greatly improved as we began to truly understand how to communicate with each other. I’ve had to learn how to slow down, especially with big financial purchases, and bring my husband into the loop. I’ve found that when I seek his feedback, even though it may go against what I want at the moment, it not only strengthens our relationship and builds trust, but we make much stronger decisions together.
I’ve also gained greater patience with those around me who were more analytical and made slower, well thought out decisions. I recognize that I need these people as a balance to my quick decisive nature.
Whether in your marriage, friendships, or in the workplace that’s the beauty of DISC and understanding one another. It helps us build trust, deepen our connection, and make stronger decisions as a team.
Ready to start your journey of self-discovery? Here are three steps to begin:
- Reflect: Spend time with Psalm 52:8 and Ephesians 2:10. Journal about how these scriptures speak to your identity in Christ. What do they reveal about who God created you to be?
- Ask: Talk to a trusted friend or family member. Ask them, “What do you think are my top three strengths?” Compare their perspective with your own reflections.
- Explore: Think back to your natural tendencies. Were you the leader, the encourager, or the planner? These behaviors offer clues to your DISC style.
Discovering your who is the first step toward living the life God created for you. It’s time to gain clarity, confidence, and purpose. Schedule a DISCover You! Call with me today, and let’s unlock your God-given strengths together.
When you know who you are, you step into God’s calling with confidence and courage. Let’s take that step together.
(Bonus invitation: Share your thoughts! What do you think your natural DISC style might be? Comment below and let me know!)
