We tossed our microwave.
In our new chapter of “Empty Nest-hood” it seemed a symbolic, yet radical move. The past 20 years had been a whirlwind of activity, raising two kiddos, running our businesses, doing all the things a family in the twenty-first century seemed “required” to do. In 2017 when the dust of child rearing finally settled, there we sat across from each other alone in a quiet house. It was like a giant stick had been thrust into the cog of life’s wheel. For the first time in forever we had permission to take a breath and savor the slow.
In our newly acquired space in time, we revamped our eating habits and took to preparing our dinners together. No takeout necessary, it was just the two of us. We chopped fresh veggies and grilled meat at the end of our busy days. We enjoyed a lingering glass of wine. Our evenings became a refuge, instead of a hustle of chauffeuring and activities. It’s no surprise that our marriage grew stronger than ever. It was here that the decision was made to toss the microwave, we no longer needed something in the snap of a finger. The question had changed from, “How much longer?” to “How far can we go?”
Call it growing wiser with age or maybe we’re just getting old, but life after 50 seems best enjoyed as a crock pot. Think things through, let ideas marinate, wait a bit for the best flavor, all great concepts that were finally given the space to take hold.
Although our days were still full of our work and life pursuits, time itself took on a whole new significance. How beautiful it would have been to see it in this light so many years ago, when we were a young family blasting through our days. If I could toss a few ideas back to my “young mom self” here are five ways I would give her to “savor the slow” in a microwave world.
In all the busyness of your days, make sure you have a dream for where you want to be when it is all said and done. Much like starting out with your cookbook and a favorite recipe, create a vision for your future as a family. This will help give your days meaning and purpose. It will give you something to aim for when the times get tough. Like the savory aroma of dinner ready, begin your journey with the end in mind.
You can’t throw just anything into the crock pot to achieve your desired results. The same goes with life. You’ve created the vision, you know the end goal you are seeking to achieve. Follow the recipe. Make a plan and be selective with the ingredients to place in your pot. Don’t rush. Source out the very best. Each ingredient will serve a unique purpose and over time will contribute to the most nourishing of meals.
There will be plenty of days when small life lessons, like seasoning, will need to be sprinkled on impatient minds. Resist the urge to add too much spice at one time, which will only overpower and ruin the end result. Allow your carefully thought out words, like a dash of salt to simmer and be reflected upon before you taste and add more. Remember, more isn’t always better … sometimes it’s just more.
I tend to be impulsive. Push my buttons too hard and I will give you a salty answer that will reduce you to vapor in a hot second. The result is a bitter aftertaste that sticks around even when I’ve cooled off. Nurture your relationships, by learning the patient art of putting the lid snugly in place, turning the temperature on low and walking away until the timing is right. Enjoy your results, don’t scorch them!
Life is not meant to be lived alone or at lightning speed. I know it’s hard to “savor the slow” when we are hungry right now. However, if you’ve ever removed the lid on the crockpot too soon, without allowing the flavors to meld together, you know the result is a watery, tasteless mess. Yet, given time the once individual flavors begin to warm up to each other, blend together and the sauce begins to thicken. How much more when we are talking about relationships and life!
If you are just starting out in life, take these words to a thoughtful place in your heart. Bring out the crockpot instead of the “Instapot” and learn to work through life in a way that you can fully absorb all of its flavor. If you’re in the second half like me, don’t allow regret to set in over how you should have done things differently. In the words of Maya Angelou, “Do all you can until you know better. Once you know better, do better.” Make a conscious effort today, even if it’s in just one area, to savor the slow and then take that microwave of yours to the curb … you don’t need it anymore!
