Life is Messy! Is life balance even possible in the midst of our overwhelm? These are the life changing lessons I learned from the top of a BOSU ball.
Balance is like a slick watermelon seed. Once you’ve grasped hold, it quickly pops out once again! Whether we recognize it or not, we all long to conquer this slippery seed of balance. To bring to order the craziness of our days, our lives, our years. The elusiveness of balance can leave us feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, struggling to gain our footing.
Perhaps there is something better for us than trying to catch slippery watermelon seeds. If life balance is such a mystery then how can we bring our life back into orbit?
n the Fall of 2022, my husband and I found ourselves sitting on an unfamiliar office couch. We had reached the end of our parenting rope. Our questions far outweighed our answers and we needed some sound advice. There we sat like school kids in the principal’s office, fidgeting with our hands, waiting for our first ever therapy appointment.
Now before the rumor mill starts churning, we weren’t there for marital issues! Transitioning to empty nest parents with adult children has its challenges. Knowing and understanding how to set new expectations had become uncharted territory for us. We were definitely off balance! The advice and counsel we received grounded us. We were able to see things in a fresh perspective. Not all of it was easy to hear, and as a mom I struggled quite a bit with the relationship changes I needed to make. Yet, the adjustments made me stronger and over time they helped me to regain a sense of order in my life.
The word balance means to “bring into equilibrium”. What it doesn’t mean is a static state of perfect stillness. I love the word “bring” in the definition, it means to take someone or something to a place. Will we ever achieve perfect balance, NO! However, we do have a choice of whom and what we take into our own personal space. We make these decisions continually throughout our day. Oftentimes, willingly inviting chaos onto our very own front porch because we are afraid to say “no”.
When we learn to make proactive, healthy decisions on who or what enters into our life, a continuous flow of stability begins to form within us. Much like water filling a cup and then flowing out in equal measure, it represents a constant beautiful cycle.
The question is how do we get to this place of stability?
On my fortieth birthday, my husband and I took off to Kauai for 5 days. We zip lined amongst the palms, hiked the NaPali coastline, swam underneath waterfalls, and jumped off cliffs to the inviting waters below. It was an amazing way to enter my fourth decade, I felt invincible.
The day after we returned home I was sitting in the doctor’s office with my son. We were on the couch for over an hour. Unbeknownst to me, my entire right leg had fallen asleep and was completely numb. I went to stand and with a loud pop my leg collapsed, taking me down to the floor. After a week of crazy fun adventure, I received a third degree ankle sprain sitting on the couch at the doctor’s office! However, as with most humbling experiences, there was a life lesson to be learned regarding balance.
In the year it took me to fully recover, I started working with a BOSU Ball. Evidently, we have 1000’s of micro muscle fibers in our feet, working overtime to keep us standing straight and walking forward. Mine were clearly lacking.
The idea was that by standing on the squishy underbelly of a BOSU ball, I would challenge my muscles to up their game. This proved almost impossible! Even while holding onto support, my sole focus was on not falling and adding another injury to my list. My legs and ankles wobbled violently out of control and I could only stay on the ball for a few seconds at best, before falling off. However, after the first week a change began to take place.
I could stabilize for brief periods, which led to …
standing upright, which led to …
doing a squat, which led to ….
Picking up a weight and bringing it on board with me.
Then came the day of my graduation. I flipped the ball over and was able to mount the flat slide and balance on my own, while handling weights.
Was I ever in perfect balance? NO!! Even today if you look at my ankles you can see them twitch, shift and compensate as my actions change. Not only my ankles, but the muscles in my core had to be held tightly in place to be stable. However, I no longer fell off the ball, my body was fully under control, and my new balance muscles were strong. What started as a very frustrating experience, much like the changes I made in my empty nest parenting, has now become a place I go to find peace and relax. It grounded me.
The Weights of the Bags are of His Making
Life balance follows this same course. The four pillars of balance are body, mind, heart and soul. I can make intentional choices on what I allow in my body, what thoughts occupy my mind. I have a choice whether I let chaos or calm reign in my heart and in turn that dictates the path of my soul.
Better yet, I can yield all this over to a loving God who says in Proverbs 16:11:
““Honest scales and balances belong to the Lord.
ALL THE WEIGHTS IN THE BAG ARE OF HIS MAKING.”.”
The Lord himself chooses the weights for me to bring on board. Weight is defined as the heaviness of an object. He knows the weight, the heaviness, the tragic burdens that we must bring into balance in our lives.
The heaviness of an adult child who has lost his way
The days long weight of caring for a loved one in their final days
The burden of illness, loss, financial insecurity
My friends, all the weights in the bag are of his making. He stands on the ball behind you, holding you up straight, giving you the balance muscles to bring it all into equilibrium. The question is will you trust him for it?
Life balance is a tricky thing. Much like learning to stand on a BOSU ball, the more intentional we are with our days and what we allow in, the stronger we will become. This takes planning! As we become stronger, we are able to say, “NO!” to thoughts, actions and relationships that throw us out of orbit. As this new found confidence sets in, order begins to replace overwhelm and calm is restored.
